So We’ve Reached the End of Part One

On day 30 of the Heal Your Heart Challenge, we’ve reached the end of part 1. It’s mildly surprising to me that part one ended up being dedicated to how we have previously loved both ourselves and others in the past. When I began this challenge I assumed we would need to re-write the book on self-love because we hadn’t yet learned the language of our own hearts. But much to my pleasant surprise I’ve discovered that self-love is really the exploration of where our love for others had manifested in a way that made us also feel loved. It’s as though the love we offered to others ricocheted back into our hearts to fulfill them even when we weren’t intentional about it.

Since we’ve been thoroughly replacing the unintentional with the intentional, let’s take a moment to reflect on our new standards of love. We’ve been redefining what it means to love this entire time so it’s no surprise that we have set a new standard, whether we were consciously aware of it or not. Our new standard of love hinges not on the acceptance of others but on the acceptance of ourselves and how our individual hearts have been designed. We’ve taken it all the way back to the original intent – to love and be loved by ourselves first.

I don’t know about you, but my new standard of love is wildly different from the one I held before. For that, I’m incredibly proud and grateful. To set a new standard took effort and courage. It took time and energy. For every moment I wanted to run from myself I deliberately turned back to face the music. Each time I did, I ended up in a space of acceptance, understanding and greater awareness for what it is I was seeking.

All those years of seeking something in others turned out to be a roadmap for how I sought love within myself. When we look back and review what we sought from others, it’s interesting to consider that what we were seeking was inside of us all along. We just didn’t know how to get there. Each time we stepped away from our own hearts we were being called to ask ourselves what we needed. But if we don’t have that language, we don’t know how to look at and accept our own needs, we will always turn outside of ourselves for that satisfaction of a need. We will always turn towards others to validate and appreciate all the ways we love.

When we seek appreciation from others, we will feel satisfied fully if we also appreciate ourselves. The act of appreciation the icing on the cake of self-awareness, affirmation and acceptance. When we appreciate the nuances and intricacies of how we love, we are pouring into ourselves love. We are consistently sending the signal to ourselves that it is beautiful and miraculous, this unique and special way only we can love. Then when others appreciate our efforts, we feel satisfied because we understand that they appreciate us as much as we do.

When we seek appreciation from others without appreciating ourselves we run the risk of falling into the space of living for external validation once again. You may have felt your soul shrivel up in fear at the thought of that. Appreciation from others is a wonderful thing that we cannot demand, control or expect. When we free ourselves from the expectations of appreciation we learn how to receive appreciation with openness and understanding in whatever way it is conveyed. Because we’re free of the expectation, we’re free of the reliance on it. We move through life and love with a sense of flow as opposed to being tethered to one another in a constant game of feeling owed or anticipating.

This sense of untethering is closure. It’s the space of freedom from what you require from others because you fulfill everything within yourself. What a wonderful experience to have as we close this first chapter of the heal your heart journey. I can’t wait to see you during part 2.