The New Plus the Old
- Lauren M
- Feb 17, 2024
- 4 min read
What feels right and good in the soul, feels right and good in the body. When we embrace being our authentic selves we gain a higher awareness of when our physical body no longer feels in alignment. We then more easily recognize when we’re not being true to our authentic selves. This recognition makes it more challenge to show up as a past version. Of course there are times when we will still revert, especially around those who know us well. But slowly and surely we have the ability to gain confidence and put our new selves out into the world. Timid and shy at first, but bursting with potential nonetheless.
When we take our new selves and coax them into the light, we’re really taking a leap of faith. We have no context or previous narratives that tell us we will be accepted or understood or seen. We don’t know if our new selves are funny or charming or delightful to be around. We simply know that who we are now feels better than who we once were and that is enough.
It’s enough to feel better than you did before. To feel better about yourself, to feel better about how you exist in the world – that is enough. If that’s the standard we are setting and on each outing into the world we say, let me just try to remain in this space of positivity, then surely we can remain there more times than not. Surely, there is potential for our new selves to find their people both existing and new. It’s possible for our new selves to become surrounded by individuals who see our souls and say “yes, hello, I’ve been waiting for you” or “it’s so good to see you again, it’s been too long.”
When you go on a healing journey, you lose people. That is inevitable. But instead of focusing on the loss, let’s look at the gains. Look at the people who have seen our souls all along. Those who witnessed as we wandered, stumbling in a dark room desperately trying to find light. Those who gently guided us back when we got lost, who lent a hand or provided a sage word of wisdom when it felt like there was no one around to show us the way. Those people, the witnesses of our evolution or those who are new to the party but equally as excited to see us, those are the people to hold onto.
Hold onto those who hold onto you especially when you’re in the space of the unknown. Their role isn’t to tell you who to be. No one can do that. They are simply beacons of light in an otherwise chaotic, messy and sometimes vulnerable journey back to you. They line the path, the illuminate the dark, the help guide you back to yourself.
Once you’ve found your way home, don't’ forget to thank them. Thank the people who stuck around, who saw you even when you didn’t, who learned how to love the new version of you even if it meant getting to know a whole different person. Those individuals have served a vital purpose in the healing journey: They have shown you what it means to be unconditionally loved.
If we predetermine the love we want from someone we run the risk of missing out on the love we’re intended to receive – a love that may actually far surpass our dreams. The love that these individuals offer cannot be set or pre-meditated. How can they possibly know how to love someone they’ve never met before? A soul they’ve never experienced? The answer is they have learned how to love unconditionally because they actually don’t need to know everything in order to offer love. Their faith in us, their love for us, that is what makes them such an integral part of the journey.
When I was younger, I used to mark time or phases of my life by who I thought I loved or who I thought loved me. I set periods of my life in certain light and viewed them through lenses brought on by partners or significant people who I deemed significant because they paid attention to me. When I look back on it, I realize I was marking time by someone else’s love because I didn’t know how to receive love or love myself. The cracks in the foundation made it imperative that I attach to someone in order to feel safe. But I didn’t attach to people who saw my soul, I attached to people who my heart leapt for out of urgency.
The people who hold onto you, the people who see your soul and let you work your way through the fraught and chaotic times of a healing journey will never rush you. They don’t carry an air of urgency because there’s no set time to heal. They will be there when you need them and still be there when you don’t. The people meant for you will be there for you because what’s meant for you cannot miss you.
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